Eagle Jizz Green

Eagle Jizz GreenEagle Jizz Mug because nothing screams fake patriotism louder than an eagle in aviators. On one side: a majestic bald eagle rocking shades. On the other: the phrase Eagle Jizz our shorthand for the over the top, toxic masculinity cosplay of the MAGA right wing manosphere. Think flags on trucks, gym selfies with rifles, and dudes who scream Murica! while chugging lite beer. Perfect for coffee, tea, or your salty liberal tears (just kidding, Tucker)

so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions

Featuring Under Armour® performance tech and a low-key nostalgic nod to better leadership

Ready to rewind to hope and competence

this shirt says what needs saying: if you come for queer folks

• Self-fabric neck tape

this 100% cotton unisex tee reps your nostalgia and your standards

This shirt makes it crystal clear: if you come for trans folks

Wearing this means you’ve pledged to support and defend the Constitution of the United States—against all enemies

this design humorously highlights the moments when the President steps back

or late-night debates

or just grabbing coffee

Super-soft